"UTANG NA LOOB"

One of the best reasons of living is knowing that someone is always willing to be with you no matter what is happening. It may be hard times or the best of times. 2012 was never a good year for me actually. Had a lot of unforgettable experiences. One time I asked myself, Do I deserve these things that are happening to me? Why am I suffering when in the first place I've been doing the best I could not to suffer. After all that happen to me, I never expected that someone is going to catch me up. Someone who helped me a lot when I was down. Down in a way that I had no one to cling to despite the fact that I have my family here expected to help me in every way. Some time in September when I experienced the worst experience in my whole life. I was like "What? is this for real? My own brother can do this to me?" IT is so sad to know. Yes. It really is. But we need to expect the fact that not everyone is willing to help you. Not everyone could be there for you especially the times of trouble. You have to be aware that no one can help you except you. No shoulder to cry to except your own shoulders. You have to be strong, yes you really need to. Because in this life we live, no one can be TRUSTED but yourself. Some might show something strange. They may act like they are really happy being with you. Acting like everything they do for you, they do as a favor. They do like not expecting anything in return. But as to my own PATHETIC EXPERIENCE, these people are not real. They are all FAKE. This is one of the reasons why me myself TRUSTS NO ONE except me. Keeping mum despite all the things they are throwing to me. Standing tall despite the insurmountable challenges that are coming along my way. Never wanted to show the world that I am weak enough to be treated such a jerk. My mom never taught me to be a FAILURE. She always tell me "YOU ACT YOURSELF, YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYBODY. AS LONG AS YOU DO YOUR PART, LET THEM DO THEIRS". Been so strong for quite some time now. Strong in a way that I over passed all the obstacles that I encountered. No one can drag me down for I know I am a fighter. All the people around me may be fake. They may act like they LOVE and CARE for me but I am not GULLIBLE ENOUGH not to determine who is fake and who is not. The past year. It's been a rough year. I have been thrown something which I do not deserve. I am not perfect I know but I deserve more. 11 pm in the evening when the worst thing happened to me. I was sent away by my brother and her wife. I cried a lot. Yes I did. But after the tears have fallen from my eyes, I stood up and said. "Out of how many billion people in this world, I won't let you ruin my life." Got no choice but to go with my cousin. I have been there for a couple of months. Been helped by her a lot that is why I have a big UTANG NA LOOB to her. I do not know how to pay her. I know I can't but I know I already have done my part to show how thankful I am for what she's done. Today. Been trying to figure out who my real friends are. Someone is helping me again, and I am trying my best not to have an UTANG NA LOOB with them anymore because I never wanted that one day, I will be paying such debt to them for the nth time. STOP BEING SO GULLIBLE GIEO. YOU CAN DO IT YOUR OWN. YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO PERSEVERE THE TESTS OF LIFE. For now, I gave been so strong and I know I will always be strong.