aisHiterOu_gie: September 2011

Life is never easy for me.

Entering the gates of a college institution is everyone's dream. As a man full of ambitions in life, finishing college was only one of my ambitions. Because I belong to a family which is financially unstable, it came to my mind that I could never finish my college.

Data Encoder Certificate (DEC). My first year course. It was still okay. No huge problems encountered and I enjoyed it a lot more than everyone of my classmates did. Getting a high grade was my top most priority that time and I made it after all. Graduated in the year 2006 WITH HONORS together with AMOR TUZON.

Diploma In Information Technology (DIT) was my second year course. As of my first year, I still wanted to be on top. Full of pressure but I was never discouraged with the obstacles along the way. Instead I counted them as an inspiration to reach my ambition. Consistently belonged to the DEAN'S LIST for 2 years now and it was so inspiring to continue my college education!
Graduated in the year 2007 WITH HONORS!

After a week during my graduation day, my mama talked to me with a tear in her eyes and she said "Nak, hindi ka na muna mag-aaral ngayong susunod na pasukan!" and it broke my heart that I even cried when I heard that from her. But the truth is I understand why she made me stop my studies and it was because of financial problems.

The night after my mama talked to me, I cried in my room and I even asked God why He never let me finish my college. Doesn't He love me? Yes, I even asked that to myself.But then, I realized that God doesn't want me to suffer. He was just measuring how strong I am to face challenges that will come my way! I was weak that time and He gave me the strength to stand up and tell the world that I am not that weak and I won't give up no matter what.

A year of being OSY (Out of School Youth). It was never easy. Knowing that your batch mates are happily enjoying their students' lives and you alone was there, dreaming that you are with them that time. It made me sick! Yes it really did! To ease my boredom, I find a way for me not to miss my classmates, I decided to go to Manila hoping that I could apply what I have learned even it was just a vocational course. Life in Manila was never easy as well. I stayed there for 3 long and weary months. At least that time, the boredom was eased for at least a short time.

I went back home January 13, 2008 because I missed my family and so did they missed me as well. Staying at home for another several months was never easy again. That time, I decided to visit my classmates for at least once a week to bond with them even I am not studying anymore.

When my mama learned that one of my batch mates is graduating with an award, she told me this "GUSTO MO ULIT MAG-ARAL?" I answered "KAHIT NAMAN GUSTUHIN KO, HINDI NAMAN NATIN KAKAYANIN KASI WALA NAMAN TAYONG PERA PARA TUSTUSAN ANG PAG-AARAL KO" but with eagerness, I really wanted to. "LAHAT GAGAWIN KO MAKATAPOS KA LANG! IPANGAKO MO LANG SA AKIN NA KAYA MONG MAKATAPOS NA CUM LAUDE RIN GAYA NG BATCH MO!" this was a great challenge on my part that she expects a lot from me. I told her "KUNG SA AKIN LANG PO, GUSTUNG-GUSTO KO TALAGA NGUNIT HINDI KO MAIPAPANGAKO NA MAKAKATAPOS AKO NG MAY AWARD, PERO LAHAT GAGAWIN KO PARA SA INYO." She answered me "SIGE, MAG ENROLL KA SA SUSUNOD NA SEMESTER AT TATAPUSIN MO ANG KOLEHIYO MO" this made my heart beat faster. Mixed emotions was what I felt. I even hugged her and told her "AGYAMANAK (SALAMAT)". What my mama told me was carved in my mind. I know how she liked me to finish my studies and she did everything she can and that was the reason why I am so thankful that she is my mom!

Experiences I encountered during my third year in college was never easy. First and foremost, I need to adjust. Some of my classmates were older, but most of them are younger than me. Need to learn their attitudes so that I can hung up with them. But the most important thing was that, I need to study hard to fill up my mom's expectation.

At the end of the semester, releasing of grades (class cards). Expecting that I could still make it on the Dean's List. I striven a lot to be one of the best, but I guess it was not enough. My average was not able to meet the expected average grade of a Dean's Lister! I was not able to make it to the top until the second semester of the same year and that made me worried about my mom.

Fourth year college! The toughest year so far! Lots of ups and downs. Full of challenges.Time to prove my mom that I can do it! She used to asked me "KUMUSTA?" she was referring to my grades if I could be a Cum Laude. Every time she asks me this question, all I answered her was a SMILE and saying "HINDI KO PA ALAM" for her not to be disappointed. "GALINGAN MO NAMAN, HINDI KA NA YATA NAG-AARAL NG MABUTI, WALA NGA AKONG MAKITANG NOTEBOOK SA BAG MO, SAAN KA NAGREREVIEW?" she told me. "HUWAG PO KAYONG MAG-ALALA, NAG-AARAL PO AKO NG MABUTI" I answered her knowing that I am afraid I could not make it. I already accepted the fact that it would be hard for me to achieve such recognition.Yes, it was once my dream but I think it wasn't meant for me. But, at the last minute, I told myself, "KELANGAN KONG MAKATAPOS NA CUM LAUDE". Everytime I tell this to myself, it feels like I really can do it.

A day before the deliberation of graduates' grades. Our chairman told me that there would be a possibility that I could be one of the Graduates who will receive a recognition. My heart beats faster and faster! I didn't know what to do. I just prayed to God!

"It is still 50/50 that you could be one of the lucky graduates" my chairman told me.

At night, I couldn't sleep! Nervousness was what I felt. I kept asking myself, "Could I make it?" I asked God for blessing and I never expected what He gave me.

My cousin texted me the morning before the deliberation day saying "Jhay, (my nickname) if it is meant for you, God will make a way. But if not, He has better plans! Trust Him!" I cried upon reading this message. Thanking my cousin for that very inspiring message.

12:00 in the afternoon, the deliberation of graduates was done! Went out of the school building to ease my nervousness. After a snack, one of my classmates texted me "Gie, you made it!" I replied "I made it to what?" she answered, "You are one of the CUM LAUDE's friend. Congratulations! Upon confirming that message to my chairman, I didn't know what to do and I just jumped and hugged my best friend and cried. What a great accomplishment! After confirming the news (BEST NEWS FOR ME SO FAR) I immediately sent a message to my cousin informing her that I made it to the top and she replied "I AM SO PROUD OF YOU."

This experiences of mine have shaped me what and who I am today. I learned a lot of lessons in life. I learned not to give up on my dreams and most of all, I LEARNED TO TRUST GOD not because I graduated with flying colors but because He gave me everything I needed in life! Blessed is the LORD!

"Jhay, if it is meant for you, God will make a way. But if not, He has better plans! Trust Him."

This has been the most inspiring message of my cousin to me before I graduated in college. Finishing a bachelors degree with honors is everyone's dream. So did I dream for it!

4 long weary years of a roller coaster ride! Lots of unforgettable experiences. From the moment I started my college life until my graduation day. Negative and positive experiences have shaped me who I am today. It was hard! It really was, but at the end of the day, I am able to draw a smile on my face because I made it to the top.This would be impossible for me to achieve without the help and guidance of my loving family and friends who supported me along the way. But more importantly, with God by my side, who has given me everything I needed! Without Him, this would never be possible. Glory and praise are unto you oh God!

This experience of me made me believe that if something is really meant for you, God will make a way. But if not, He really has a better plan for your life. Just don't ever stop TRUSTING HIM for He may not be giving you what you want at this moment, nor tomorrow, nor next week, but this is what I assure you, He will give that wish of yours at the right time and at the right moment!

Thanks to my cousin for inspiring me a lot to become the best of the best! I learned how to believe in my abilities and I also learned how to become a better person!

TRUST HIM! This is a magical word!